my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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