you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
