walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just invented taco cereal.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
