Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
