Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize