Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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