I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
