I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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