i already hear my dad disowning me
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
