Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
