my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Randomize
