Sry I called you an 8
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
