I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
