my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
