happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have feelings that need drinking.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
