Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
