Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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