My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
third nipple confirmed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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