i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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