Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
