your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
did you just send me my own nude
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
