Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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