two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
