there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
