At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize