We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
