she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
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