you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
