I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.