Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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