Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday

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  (570): Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday http://tfl.nu/tnzp
  Replies (2) Good night (1642) Bad night (533)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

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  (808): It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex. http://tfl.nu/n6q7
  Replies (29) Good night (648) Bad night (4391)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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  (703): I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is. http://tfl.nu/7kmq
  Replies (53) Good night (849) Bad night (3149)
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  (949): View more from California

  went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.

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  (949): went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off. http://tfl.nu/go0t
  Replies (23) Good night (5753) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?

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  (617): it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right? http://tfl.nu/n56d
  Replies (10) Good night (4536) Bad night (1671)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left

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  (330): I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left http://tfl.nu/kqqk
  Replies (26) Good night (5253) Bad night (1803)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

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  (520): She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes. http://tfl.nu/56a9
  Replies (19) Good night (9045) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thats actually pretty good logic

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  (724): I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars" (412): thats actually pretty good logic http://tfl.nu/znkn
  Replies (13) Good night (6212) Bad night (1207)
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  (212): View more from New York

  It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis

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  (212): It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis http://tfl.nu/3xfb
  Replies (13) Good night (2587) Bad night (1289)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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  (217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q
  Replies (16) Good night (4454) Bad night (1190)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?

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  (401): do you think she knows her nickname is brickface? http://tfl.nu/y8t9
  Replies (10) Good night (667) Bad night (1681)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!

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  (651): Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday! http://tfl.nu/4hno
  Replies (5) Good night (1068) Bad night (516)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.

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  (438): Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up. http://tfl.nu/xk7n
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think that would solve a million problems

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  (774): I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining (508): I think that would solve a million problems http://tfl.nu/0h1f
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.

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  (802): Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced. http://tfl.nu/wakp
  Replies (2) Good night (327) Bad night (474)

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