remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he fucked my hip out of place.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
