I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
