Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
