Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
