Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
