Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
