I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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