i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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