I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
