yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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