Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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