Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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