did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
