just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
