I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
