you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
