And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
