You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
