hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
