i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
