she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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