There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
