i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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