So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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