so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
