yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
