I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize