wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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