It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
